Black and white

So I finished writing my last update and I decided I would let you know about another big part of my life here – being white in South Africa. And because it takes so many megabytes from my internet to update my blog… I figured I’d just write it now! Anyways race has been a big part of my life here, and the first time I have ever experienced something like it. I have always learned about race relations in American history, but it is really not something I have ever felt like I directly experienced. Since my arrival in South Africa, I have been constantly aware of the color of my skin, and it has really changed my perspective! In fact, I wrote in my journal about it a couple days ago… so I’ll just put that up here.

“Every time I go to town I am struck by how much the race relations fascinate me. Race is really not something that has never been a big part of my life, at least not directly. Here I find myself constantly aware of the color of my skin and how my race affects the way people perceive me. This was a really big deal to me when I first arrived in my village, since most of the people here had never really interacted like this with a white person before. Some of the younger kids had never even seen a white person up close before. But as people in the area began to know me, my name officially went from being “lekgoa!” (white person) to “Lorato” – a pretty big moment! So here in my village I am becoming less and less concerned with the fact that I am white. Although I do still notice how it affects my daily interactions with people. I am spoken to in Afrikaans a lot (a language in which I only really know how to say how are you and good morning), and people have a really hard time grasping the fact that I am white but don’t speak it. I also get asked for money a lot, which is particularly uncomfortable but they are beginning to understand that I am a volunteer and not making a lot! The most annoying thing, though, is people constantly assuming I am an expert at things, even when I know nothing about the problems – like cars, or land care. I noticed this a lot today with Mma Maqondose (educator for grades 1, 2 and 3). I have been observing her for 2 days and anytime she has her kids do an exercise she looks at me and says “Am I doing this right?”, “Is this ok?”, or “Was that the right answer?”. The topic was Setswana phonics… pretty sure she’s more of an expert than me! I appreciate that she is eager for help, but it gets really frustrating being looked at as a wealth of knowledge because of my skin color.
It took the kids a couple days of me being in the school for them to get used to me. Some of them even seemed to have a hard time looking me in the eye. Now we have obviously all become best friends ☺, but it really didn’t come that easily!

Now where the race issue really fascinates me is in town. There is a significant Afrikaaner population there and it’s really a culture I do not yet understand. Mma Magketla (my supervisor) has given me interesting insight into the issues and how they’ve affected her. Like how she owns a house in the middle of a white neighborhood, and some of her neighbors are still really racist and not OK with her living there. She is very open to talking about things like this, which is awesome for me to learn from someone directly affected by the government I have learned so much about - her life was significantly changed after apartheid ended (she wasn’t even allowed to own a house or any other land before then!). The Afrikaaners who do make an effort with the black Africans really stand out, even if it’s just the smallest attempt to speak their language or interact with them on a totally equal level. I’m amazed at Mma Magketla’s attitude towards it all – I can see how much racism has affected her life but she still has the outlook that even though many of them are still very racist, many are getting better and life is steadily improving.

I’m almost more aware of my color in town where there are white people around. It’s like there are these unspoken “rules” of where white and black people are supposed to stand, shop, eat, etc. As someone being thrown into the situation without any knowledge of these regularities, and on top of that being much more comfortable and immersed in Setswana culture, I find I feel out of place no matter what. A good example of this is when Nate and I were waiting for a ride back to our villages and we were standing on a curb in front of the gas station. These (Setswana) men approached us, curious as to who we were as we were “clearly not from around here”. We asked if it was the way we looked that made us stand out as Americans, but they said it was in fact just because we were white people standing next to the taxi rank – it’s something that just doesn’t happen! The good thing is that these small gestures seem to be taken really positively by people, like I’m trying to say “I’m white but I don’t mind doing things as the black people do them”. If I can make just one person smile because of where I decide to stand on the street, or buying fruits and vegetables from an old woman’s cart instead of in the grocery store (um, hello it’s way cheaper).. then I say my work here is at least having a positive impact in that sense! The funny thing is that when I go to town I feel more awkwardly stared at by the local Afrikaaners… they can immediately tell by the way I dress and what I do that I am not from here, and they just seem fascinated with who I am and why I ride in cars with black people. Honestly I’ll feel good if I make just one person see that it really isn’t that weird to not just interact with people of the other race but live like they do too, then I will feel really good about life.”

Anyways just thought I would give you all an insight into the complicated issue of color here in South Africa. It’s really not that surprising since color was the entire foundation of their government for so many years, but people say things really are improving with time. Makes me wonder what it must have been like here during Apartheid….

Updates from the Kalahari

Dumelang!

Time for more on life here in Afrika Borwa. Things are still going really really well for me in my village! I’ve been here 3 weeks and feel like I’m really getting the hang of things. I spent the first week at the school in my village, Mecwetsaneng Primary, and I have consequently fallen in love with every single kid in my village. Last week school was on break, but I ended up going to school almost every day to help my principal. She teaches grades 4, 5, 6 and 7 and was having a really hard time getting her lesson planning done, but I was happy to help as it gave me some more knowledge on how their curriculum works and what regulations the Department of Education puts in place (which happen to be abundant). I also spent a day helping her create the Whole School Evaluation, School Development Plan, and School Improvement Plan. This is something they do every 3 years, but the Dept. of Ed. has recently changed the format they have to use, so I helped her understand exactly what they were looking for. It was nice to get to see the school’s issues from her perspective and how she thinks they might be fixed, but I kind of felt like she was just rushing to fill out the papers for the Department and that she didn’t really intend on doing most of the things she was writing down. She is really passionate about her school, it’s just that many of the issues are out of her control since there is no time for her to do them as a full-time educator and principal. Needless to say, she’s putting me right to work! I was happy about this though because even though this first 3 months is supposed to be solely observation, I don’t think I can physically handle not doing any work at all!

During break I also got to meet up with some of the other volunteers in the area in Kuruman… a really nice change of pace from the monotony of my village! I was actually really proud of myself though, as much as I was happy to see them, I didn’t feel like it was something I really needed to do or I would go crazy. Luckily I feel really comfortable and happy in my village so I don’t feel like I’m counting down the days until I see other Americans. Of course its awesome to meet up with them though, as we have a really great group of people and are all getting really close!

This week I have been spending at Baduana Primary, the school in the next village over. I was lucky enough to receive a bike from my school so that I can ride it the 3km there and back the weeks that I spend there. Riding my bike with the view of the sun rising over the Kalahari is really not too shabby! I have been having some issues with the principal there, but I think it will all work itself out. He is a 30 something year old crazy Rastafarian man who tends to hit on me absolutely constantly. Men here are extremely hard to deal with, it doesn’t really matter how many times you tell them you aren’t single or aren’t looking, they just feel like they have the right to continually harass women (and of course being white only results in more of this attention). I have learned to deal with it from the drunk men at the Shebeens (the taverns in villages), but to receive it from one of the principals I’m working with was something that really really frustrated me. I wouldn’t say he harasses me necessarily, it’s more the uncomfortable things he says, like always commenting on how nice I look and calling me late at night “just to talk”, always asking me when he can come visit me, etc. It has been very hard to deal with this week, but after a couple of days of being very forward and forceful with him saying he can’t act that way, the situation seems to be improving. I’ve been reinforcing the fact while women in this culture may accept that as normal practice, it is not acceptable for me and I will not be able to work in an environment that makes me uncomfortable. So in any case, it’s been a part of the culture that is really hard to deal with, but I know that he doesn’t mean any harm and that hopefully it isn’t something that will continue.

Despite the way he treats women, he is a really great teacher and is probably one of the most liberal and progressive people I have met in rural South Africa. He is strongly opposed to corporal punishment and is all about finding new methods of learner behavior and classroom management. There is only one other educator in this school, and she seems to abide by this system. Yesterday one of the girls who comes and hangs out at my house after school everyday (coincidentally my new best friends!) was sitting on my porch telling me about how she had a bad day at school because her teacher (the male educator at Mecwetsaneng Primary) beat her in class. The principal at that school is also opposed to corporal punishment in theory, but she as no time to observe the other teachers as she is always in the classroom herself. So I think this is an issue I will try to tackle at some point – I had tears welling in my eyes as this sweet girl was telling me about getting smacked right in the middle of class and in front of everyone. It makes the learners terrified to ever make a mistake, resulting in the total fear of speaking up in class. I think he’s the only educator I work with who actually still hits his kids, but I can tell it’s been the way these kids have been brought up. Sometimes when I’m with them in class I’ll go up to one of them to pat them on the shoulder and say “good job” with a smile, like many teachers in America would, and the kid will flinch like I am about to smack them across the face! But anyways, the principal at Baduana is hard for me to deal with but luckily has a really great education philosophy – this will be one less challenge for me at the school.

On the note of my schools, I just have to mention how absolutely in love I am with these children. Most of my education experience has been with students from 13-17, which I thought was what I preferred, but I am really loving working with the really young ones. In both of my schools my favorite days have been with Grades 1, 2 and 3 – words cannot express how cute they are! An added bonus to working with them is that I’ve realized I’m at about a 2nd grade level in Setswana, so I learn a lot in their class too! But you can tell they don’t get a lot of attention at home… the second they realized that I will play with them and encourage them they started getting really excited everytime I come around. When I ride my bike to Baduana Primary they wait at the fences of their houses and run next to my bike the rest of the way to school! I can’t think of a better way I could start my day….

One thing I have particularly enjoyed about these first few weeks is getting closer to my host family. At first I was pretty nervous about living with a family for two years, but I was lucky enough to be placed with one who is really eager to help me be a part of the community and the family (which really go hand in hand as I am finding out I’m practically related to everyone in my village!). My gogo (aka my grandmother… Mmamma Mokhukedi) is maybe the cutest and welcoming woman I have met. She doesn’t speak much English but it’s been a great way for me to speak more Setswana. Some of my favorite times are just sitting on the porch and drinking tea with her and the kids in the evenings. Papa Mokhukedi is too old to hear anyone, so our communication is really no different than anyone else who talks to him! I absolutely love my host brothers who live here, too. In fact, Tsepisho and Olefeng (ages 13 and 9) went running with me this evening! And they did the whole thing without shoes… showoffs. We spend most evenings playing together… our favorite activities include riding my bike around, playing soccer for hours and hours (with a ball made from balled up bread bags… heartbreaking!), and drawing pictures in the dirt. Sometimes we also like to race to the community water tap… and of course I let them win all the time.

Summer is on it’s way and it’s getting hotter everyday. The heat hasn’t been too big of a problem for me yet, it seems that it’s only really hot in the afternoons, but it’s been cooling off in the evenings. I don’t know if that’s because we are in the desert or because it’s still spring, but I’m hoping it lasts through summer… as long as I can sleep at night all is well! What does suck about summer coming is that the bugs are coming out, and anyone who knows me should know this is not something I handle particularly well. The big problem here seems to be flies that swarm everywhere in the heat. Which has coincidentally turned me into a total clean freak… I swear I’ll freak out if cockroaches start becoming a part of my life!

Alright, time to make some dinner! Oh also I have an address in Kuruman now so let me know if you want to send anything and I’ll give it to you.

Sala sentle! (stay well)

PS - more pictures to come soon! Picasa really just sucks so I'm trying to find a better photo program to use that doesn't use up too much data to upload photos....