Babies, funerals and other happenings….

Friday, Oct. 16 was a great day in the states….. because I am now an auntie!!!! Welcome to the world Indie Morgan! Most of you who read this probably already knew that, but I just had to give a shout out! She is a healthy baby girl and Alanna seems to be just loving everything motherhood has to offer. Very exciting news. I’m not gonna lie, this exciting event presented perhaps this biggest challenge I have faced since arriving in S.A. It was definitely a stark realization that life is going on without me at home. And not just the usual normalcies of life but big, life-changing exciting things! I wish everything could just be put on pause for a couple of years while I go through this, but I knew coming into this that being gone for 2 years would mean missing out on some things. There’s no getting around the fact that it sucks I’m missing out on Indie’s first 2 years, but I have to look at the bright side… at least I’ll be that cool aunt who gets to tell stories about Africa!

On a much different note, I have recently been introduced to an extremely important part of South African culture: funerals. People here are deeply religious and deaths are just constantly occurring (rampant HIV/AIDS + little access to healthcare = ☹ ), so it’s not a huge surprise what an important role the funerals play in their culture. In fact, the only community group that seems really active in every village is called “Society”, which is basically a group of (usually older) women in the community who get together and work out the costs of whatever funeral is to happen that Saturday. Funerals are big events… you typically will go to one even when you didn’t know (or ever even meet) the person who died, all it takes is some sort of community or family connection and you would feel obligated to attend. The first funeral I attended was sadly on the same day I found out I was an aunt, and was for two brothers who died very near each other – aged 16 and 18. Needless to say this was a really hard day for me. I have thankfully been to only a couple funerals in the States, but I can safely say that funerals here are pretty different. They are always on Saturdays and everyone gets super dressed up and heads to the cemetery VERY early that morning. So there is just a giant crowd of people watching the burial, participating in the songs, etc. Women cover their heads with scarves and the ones who are in mourning are usually more covered. As my SeTswana is still pretty limited, I had a hard time understanding who was talking or what was being said, but I think it was mostly a lot of scriptures and whatnot. What I did notice was that without any sort of program, everyone knew when to burst into song and what was to be sung. This is something I’ve noticed at other events also and still remains a mystery to me! Their songs are really beautiful though, so it was at least pleasant to hear them.

The ceremony took about an hour and a half and from there everyone walked together (VERY slowly might I add) to the house of the boys’ mother. The house had a really big tent set up and the family had been cooking I think the entire day before to prepare for the big meal/party that follows the burial. I feel weird saying “party” but in all honestly sometimes it’s hard to tell one social gathering from another. They all include the same kinds of foods (pap, chicken, coleslaw, potato salad, other mayonnaise-y salads…), the same big tent, the same sort of atmosphere (perhaps less dancing and singing was happening at the funeral, but it wasn’t super gloomy either..), house music, and drunk men (mind you, this meal is occurring at about 9am). Funerals are actually very social affairs, I have been asked multiple times by my teachers what funeral I am going to on a particular Saturday. It’s definitely one of the strongest traditions in the culture and the highest way you could show your respect for a person, family, and community. All in all, I have been able to avoid attending church on Sundays (not without much explanation to my Christian community) but I think that funerals will be an inevitable part of my service. But eish let me tell you… they are sooo very exhausting. So many people came that many of them had never seen me before which basically led me to having to greet and explain my presence to more people than I could count. And dealing with drunk men is, as I have already mentioned, the worst part about living here. And they don’t mess around when they drink, they get DRUNK drunk. Nothing I can’t handle though.

So anyways, that’s my spiel on funerals…. Thought I’d give you a little insight into the culture here. It’s sad to know that death is such a huge and normal part of life here. People here are also very secretive about the reasons for death here. They’ll always just say “Oh they were very very sick…”, in fact I’ve never even heard them mention HIV/AIDS at all in relation to a cause of death. In a country some say has THE highest HIV/AIDS rate... one can only assume that it’s a cause for many (if not most) of the deaths occurring. Sad, sad stuff that it still remains such a taboo in the culture.

Things at my schools are slowly but surely moving along. Something that has been really hard for me to deal with is just the complete lack of logic or reasoning used when doing anything. I understand and accept that things are moving in “Africa time”, but certain things my teachers do I just cannot wrap my head around. The biggest thing I’ve been dealing with is the fact that the teachers just don’t teach! Not only do they not teach but they won’t even be present in the classroom for hours and sometimes entire days. These absences are a completely normal part of the schools and are not questioned at all. I’ve been having a hard time drawing the line between what are in some instances just cultural differences but in others just EXTREME laziness. For instance, I can’t tell you how many times I have seen my teachers go to class, do a half-assed lesson for maybe 30 minutes without checking for any understanding and instead just make them memorize and repeat what they’ve said, and then walk out acting so very exhausting from the grueling 30 min of teaching. Maybe they will come back 20-30 min later and do it again, but often they will only be in the classroom for less than a couple of hours in an entire day. It’s one thing if they really were truly busy doing other things that they need to… but many times this is not the case! It’s frustrating when all I hear them say is “we are really suffering, this is a big big problem” yet they just kind of sit around a lot not doing anything that even slightly resembles work. I really just can’t understand how this can be an accepted practice in a school where there are at least 3 7th graders who can still barely read or write.

I reached my absolute breaking point with this the other day. Wednesday I had planned to be in the Grade 2/3 class all day and help the teacher in class. Of course, as things here never really go according to plan, my principal felt this morning would be much better spent switching the staffroom and the grade 2/3 room. Her reasoning: the staffroom gets too dusty when its windy. Naturally this would be a much better environment for the students. Like I said… logic = NONEXISTENT. So after 2 hours of making every single learner carry desks, chairs, papers, even a fridge, back and forth, the classrooms were officially switched. Ok, so not quite the morning I had planned on but maybe the afternoon would go better. OR maybe not. After about 15 minutes of break, my principal calls me into the new staffroom saying “oh we have a big big problem can you help us”. So of course I go to help them. With what? Inputting all of their 2008 budget information into this horribly complicated chart. Duh, what else would be so important? The rest of the DAY was spent working on this, with me doing most of it because I am apparently much better with a calculator. The problems with this: 3 out of the 5 teachers at my school DID NOT EVEN STEP INTO THEIR CLASSROOMS FOR A WHOLE DAY, we employ an “administrative assistant” who was supposed to do this (so that the teachers could TEACH.. what a concept) but who apparently does not do his job, and how in the hell is updating 2008 budget info more important than being in your class?!?!?!?! It’s been 3 days of working on this and they haven’t gotten past October’s numbers. And the 2009 numbers: still to come. These are times where I have to take a step back, a deep breath, and remember this is probably the way things have been done for decades. I will try my best to get these teachers in the classroom more but frankly I’m questioning how much you can really change adults who are set in their ways.

So it’s been a frustrating couple weeks at school only because I think I’m just beginning to grasp what an administrative mess the education system is here. In fact, I would say utter “shambles” is an appropriate word. I suppose that’s why we’re here though right? I am now very thankful for this 3 month observation period though… it’s pretty hard to figure out what’s really going on in a situation when you are just a beginner with the language and culture.

Another interesting thing that has happened as of late is my first introduction to Afrikaner culture. This weekend I met some other volunteers in Vryburg, a town about 2 hours away from where I am. We stayed the night at this hotel in town where a couple people had previously stayed and met the owner, a middle-aged Afrikaner man. Not only did he give an amazing discount to the group of volunteers staying there, but he also invited us to a braii (bbq) at his house with his family. So about 10 of us show up at this house only to realize it is a very intimate family gathering. The host still seemed happy we showed up and we ended up hanging out at his house all night. The house was RIDICULOUS… I guess being a hotel owner is not a bad gig. First of all, the house is situated in a neighborhood that made me feel instantaneously transported back to any normal middle-class American neighborhood. A really weird feeling after living in my village for 6 weeks! The house was complete with many rooms, a full bar (of which we were allowed full use), an oversized pool table, a pool and waterfall in the courtyard, but let’s not forget the most shocking part: stuffed animal heads EVERYWHERE, including springbocks, zebras, a giraffe (yes, a giraffe), and a fully-stuffed lion! Apparently game hunting is a hobby of theirs. While it was a little awkward at first being in such a different environment than we were used to, and facing the many questions they had about what we could possible be doing living among the blacks in the villages, it turned out to be a great evening. We were lucky enough to have a night of cold beer and really interesting talks, both with each other and with the family. And when I say this was an Afrikaner family I mean it in the greatest sense…. There were even medals on the walls that members of their family had received during WWII and the Anglo-Boer War.. crazy stuff! They were absolutely fascinated by what we were doing in the villages. It was nice to get to explain to them that while Tswana culture was very different from their own, in the end we are just people living among other people. It’s funny how these people have been living with each other for centuries and can still act like they are from different planets. Overall it was a great weekend though, and just another fascinating cultural experience I can add to my list.

Well, weeks seem to be just really moving along and I can't believe it's already November! I'm looking forward to this week, I found a French press coffee maker in vryburg this weekend, along with regular, non-instant coffee... which means I will now get to enjoy ACTUAL coffee, something I never knew I could miss so much.